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I read a quote from someone that described me/my situation exactly...

And that's quite rare, most of the time you'll read something that resonates or is close to what you're thinking or feeling...but this was completely spot on.

She was talking about how she doesn't completely engage where she's at..with going different places, and knowing that she'll only be in one situation for a little while she doesn't commit to things one-hundred percent.

This is precisely my problem.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do or how long I'll stay in one place, so I rarely put the "whole me" out there.

I guess it's a guarding tactic, but sometimes in the midst of doing this I know that I want to get to know people better. I know that I don't want to be distant; I'd rather them get to know the real me and vice-versa.

But there's also the conundrum of how to act in new situations when you're put off for acting how you normally would.

Not wanting to lose sleep or your mind seems to be unpopular...

Now, I'm quite introverted so it doesn't bug me too much, but every once in a while I want to feel like I'm not the "other one."

And...instead of blaming it on the situation, I know that I should be who I am and participate where I want to...not just when I'm feeling lonely or put-off...but just because I want to.

oh life.

{my computer. durbanville, south africa}