For a while now I've been struggling with the thoughts of whether it's more about getting the work done or whether it's about finding God. Yeah, the answer seems obvious, but when you've devoted time and money to be in a place to do work, things get jumbled.
I've been looking for the balance; the balance that I know everyone looks for. Whether its a job and God, or a ministry and God, or school and God, but I think it's a test. It's a test from God whether or not we can put Him first even though everything else seems more important.
I've determined that I would rather fail this class than get all of my work and be totally drained because I haven't spent time with Him. I mean, it's love. It's all about showing Him we love Him.
Praising Him through song and nature, glorifying Him by learning more of Him through His word, loving Him through taking time to just be silent; it's all about Him.
All the rest of the things that we do should just fall behind Him.
I know that I can't get through this if I'm just going off of what I knew of Him. I have to keep knowing Him. I've just seen so much that I can't just pause our relationship when I have things to do; it just doesn't work that way. He has to be first and however that happens doesn't really matter as long as He knows where He is.
I had a pretty amazing revelation today; about love of course! I realized that the cross is love. Whenever I think about the cross or see a picture, it's Jesus on the cross in pain and suffering. And that's what I attach to it; all I can think about is how bad I feel for Jesus and how amazing He is to have suffered for me. And that's a wonderful thing to receive from the cross.
But I don't think that's all Jesus wanted us to see.
He didn't die on the cross for our sympathy, He did it because He wanted us to really realize His love for us.
We were singing the song "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan at that time and my favorite line: "Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss" came up.
And that's it.
The cross is a big wet kiss from Jesus. I mean, if I think about it that way, well of course it still makes me cry, but it's not a cry of sympathy; it's a cry of awe.
I've been looking for the balance; the balance that I know everyone looks for. Whether its a job and God, or a ministry and God, or school and God, but I think it's a test. It's a test from God whether or not we can put Him first even though everything else seems more important.
I've determined that I would rather fail this class than get all of my work and be totally drained because I haven't spent time with Him. I mean, it's love. It's all about showing Him we love Him.
Praising Him through song and nature, glorifying Him by learning more of Him through His word, loving Him through taking time to just be silent; it's all about Him.
All the rest of the things that we do should just fall behind Him.
I know that I can't get through this if I'm just going off of what I knew of Him. I have to keep knowing Him. I've just seen so much that I can't just pause our relationship when I have things to do; it just doesn't work that way. He has to be first and however that happens doesn't really matter as long as He knows where He is.
I had a pretty amazing revelation today; about love of course! I realized that the cross is love. Whenever I think about the cross or see a picture, it's Jesus on the cross in pain and suffering. And that's what I attach to it; all I can think about is how bad I feel for Jesus and how amazing He is to have suffered for me. And that's a wonderful thing to receive from the cross.
But I don't think that's all Jesus wanted us to see.
He didn't die on the cross for our sympathy, He did it because He wanted us to really realize His love for us.
We were singing the song "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan at that time and my favorite line: "Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss" came up.
And that's it.
The cross is a big wet kiss from Jesus. I mean, if I think about it that way, well of course it still makes me cry, but it's not a cry of sympathy; it's a cry of awe.
