imperfections, transformation.

I think I missed this;
having a place to write my thoughts, for me, and anyone else who wants them

I must have just gotten lost in the world of pictures,
everyone else's..
and my own
but pictures aren't enough

and they never will be.

Pictures will never replace though
replace experience
replace true living

Maybe it's just that it's easier
to pose and post
and fix and tweak
push and prod
and then stare.

Just at that,
and not at the real thing
the one that is actually siting in front of your face
imperfect as it may be

Photography as self-expression is wonderful,
obviously

but it cannot be it,
it cannot be the substitute for life.


Sometimes that's how I see this digital world we live in,
trying to find the next substitute for life

as if it needs it,
as if this lovely messed up world needs a special lens.

I don't know,
I guess the more I think about it the more I realize that it's never going to look how you think,
so many times I have this view of my life and when it's not met,
I feel disappointed,
as if I've somehow failed my own vision (like that matters.)

Truth is,
it doesn't matter
my vision is just something I created in my head
beautiful as it may be,
it's just a vision.
And maybe it will happen,
but if it doesn't
that doesn't mean that the real thing is any less than what it is.

It seems to be all about accepting things
life
as it is.

Because as much as i think my vision of life is just wonderful
it's so much bigger than me
so much
and I may have a nice high view of myself
but Life itself,
will always be bigger than me.

There's a beautiful truth though
in finding your way home to Him.
It's going to be messy and not look as lovely as pictures and your head,
but it's real,
and it feels real
and it smells real
and it tastes like Home.