Perhaps I've become an easy mark for a much larger con: a shell game that robs my life away from me, one moment at a time. "If only I had that job, that house, that girlfriend, that car." I hunt down my fantasies ignoring the reality around me. The people around me who truly care for me, the true needs of those who depend on me; I cast these realities aside for the phantoms that lie just out of reach. Ignoring that which is in my pursuit for that which is not. Chasing ghosts. It's a shell game, a sleight of hand.

- jon foreman.

longing/contentment.

Sometimes I wonder,

in a society that jumps from partner to partner in the smallest amount of time,

if people realize the hunger in them.

We have every means available to ignore any longing within us,

and then it becomes to hard to hear.

If we were more careful with these things,

if we understood that there will always be something within us that feels like it's missing

then maybe we could pass up all the unnecessary choices made out of hopelessness.

For me,

my Creator is the only one that can fill that longing or that sense that I'm missing something.

I start to feel like everything better is somewhere else when I'm not close to Him.

Nothing is ever enough.

And even when I'm happy, it finds its way in.

And its the silliest thing that I've realized I just can't control.

What I can control, however, is how I react to this feeling.

I can retreat in, and start to believe that I'm completely alone 

and that there's no outlet for my longing.

Or I can turn to Him,

let Him show me things that make me feel again.

It's such an odd thing,

but when I do this I re-remember things that I loved and gave me a sense of peace.

Painting

Piano

Writing

Poetry

Sketching

Photography

Listening to quiet music

Laying on the roof

Soaking in the sun

And just being quiet, I guess.

It just always takes Him reminding me of these things

..these things that I can't explain 

or that I know aren't perfect and never will be..

but that seem to release something in me

making me feel like myself again.

If other people could realize this about themselves

then maybe we'd have less abandoned families,

less broken relationships,

and less dissatisfaction with our lives.

It's a tall order,

but I think people need to realize these things first

before rash decisions are made that ruin lives

dreaming.

Dreams have a funny way of getting to your head.

Well that's where they begin of course, but also afterwards...
trying to figure out if they have any particular  meaning.

I'd never base a decision on a dream,

but sometimes they seem like warnings

or lessons that we'll need to remember for a later problem.

So I guess most of the time they make sense after something's happened.

Better store 'em up.

hmmph.

video: http://www.youtube.com/watch

happy valentine's.

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