where o where

not how it seems.

When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone.
When I was sure of losing, I won.
When I needed people the most, they left me.
When I learned to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on.
And when I mastered the skill of hating, somebody started loving me.

This is life.

-anon.

with feist

when isn't her voice beautiful?

little things.

"i still get wildly enthusiastic about little things...

i play with leaves. i skip down the street and run against the wind." 

leo buscaglia.

law/virtues

a bit of my morning reading today.

..sometimes its just nice to be reminded of the things we already know, or thought we knew..

This means a few things to me..

the law, νόμος, as in the binding command passed from generation to generation, 

rule producing a state approved of by God,

the Mosaic law..

This use of law is very black and white

what is written in the Old Testament,

and there doesn't really seem to be much freedom in it.

But Jesus' law,

the "laws" that Jesus passed to us,

how to live our lives in love towards others,

they're much freer and full of life rather than seeming constricting.

This is not to say that the law was bad...Paul addresses that in the next verses as well..

He says that because of the law he understood sin and:

"It was sin, working death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin,

 and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure." 7:13

I really like how Marguerite Porete says it, in poetic form

Virtues, I take my leave of you forever,

I will possess a heart most free and gay; 

You service is too constant, you know well.

Once I placed my heart in you, retaining nothing;

You know that I was to you totally abandoned;

I was once a slave to you, but now am delivered from it.

I had placed my heart completely in you, you know well.

Thus I lived a while in great distress,

I suffered in many grave torments, many pains endured.

Miracle it is that I have somehow escaped alive.

This being so, I no longer care: I am parted from you,

For which I thank God on high; good fro me this day.

I am parted from you dominations, which so vexed me.

I was never more free, except as departed from you.

I am parted from you dominations, in peace I rest.

little things

.

time..

{via}

removed

I read a quote from someone that described me/my situation exactly...

And that's quite rare, most of the time you'll read something that resonates or is close to what you're thinking or feeling...but this was completely spot on.

She was talking about how she doesn't completely engage where she's at..with going different places, and knowing that she'll only be in one situation for a little while she doesn't commit to things one-hundred percent.

This is precisely my problem.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do or how long I'll stay in one place, so I rarely put the "whole me" out there.

I guess it's a guarding tactic, but sometimes in the midst of doing this I know that I want to get to know people better. I know that I don't want to be distant; I'd rather them get to know the real me and vice-versa.

But there's also the conundrum of how to act in new situations when you're put off for acting how you normally would.

Not wanting to lose sleep or your mind seems to be unpopular...

Now, I'm quite introverted so it doesn't bug me too much, but every once in a while I want to feel like I'm not the "other one."

And...instead of blaming it on the situation, I know that I should be who I am and participate where I want to...not just when I'm feeling lonely or put-off...but just because I want to.

oh life.

{my computer. durbanville, south africa}

patience

I would love to live like a river flows,

carried by the surprise of its own unfolding

-John O'Donohue

Oh it sounds so wonderful...having patience, allowance, and forgiveness with yourself and your life.

But it really doesn't feel wonderful at all, it actually hurts to do what is most natural.

Another paradox, of course, that our lives should flow with the experiences that we have been given but not fretting over what could or might happen. We are, in a way, subject to the things that we can't control, by how we react.

just do it.

.

{susan sontag}

spontaneous song

.

talent.

michigan.

.

This is Michigan...

Did you know it looked like this?? Because I didn't, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.

famous painting..redone modern style

{-aa.tumblr.com}

romantic vs. sentimental

"I'm not sentimental--I'm as romantic as you are. The idea, you know,

is that the sentimental person thinks things will last--the romantic 

person has a desperate confidence that they won't."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

question of the day:

why have my mom and I not done this yet...?