imperfections, transformation.

I think I missed this;
having a place to write my thoughts, for me, and anyone else who wants them

I must have just gotten lost in the world of pictures,
everyone else's..
and my own
but pictures aren't enough

and they never will be.

Pictures will never replace though
replace experience
replace true living

Maybe it's just that it's easier
to pose and post
and fix and tweak
push and prod
and then stare.

Just at that,
and not at the real thing
the one that is actually siting in front of your face
imperfect as it may be

Photography as self-expression is wonderful,
obviously

but it cannot be it,
it cannot be the substitute for life.


Sometimes that's how I see this digital world we live in,
trying to find the next substitute for life

as if it needs it,
as if this lovely messed up world needs a special lens.

I don't know,
I guess the more I think about it the more I realize that it's never going to look how you think,
so many times I have this view of my life and when it's not met,
I feel disappointed,
as if I've somehow failed my own vision (like that matters.)

Truth is,
it doesn't matter
my vision is just something I created in my head
beautiful as it may be,
it's just a vision.
And maybe it will happen,
but if it doesn't
that doesn't mean that the real thing is any less than what it is.

It seems to be all about accepting things
life
as it is.

Because as much as i think my vision of life is just wonderful
it's so much bigger than me
so much
and I may have a nice high view of myself
but Life itself,
will always be bigger than me.

There's a beautiful truth though
in finding your way home to Him.
It's going to be messy and not look as lovely as pictures and your head,
but it's real,
and it feels real
and it smells real
and it tastes like Home.

celtic blessing.

intricate.

sometimes I think that we over-simply things.

we want everything to be quick & now,

and that impatience can spill over

from work and deadlines and such,

into our relationships.

it's so detrimental that I get tongue-tied thinking of it.

it sounds dramatic.

but I know that the way that we speak has such an amazing effect,

and most of the time we barely have a clue what we're saying.

we'll tell a friend that we like/don't like something they did.

we'll say so flippantly,

so carelessly,

and the next moment we'll forget we said it.

fast forward,

this friend has dwelt on that word for weeks and things blow up for them in an unfathomable way.

it's ridiculous,

words shouldn't be so effective,

so often.

but they are,

that's the fact,

and we have to deal with it.

we have to deal with the fact that  we need to think,

really think about all the things that we're saying,

or want to say,

to someone.

the thing is,

if we don't do this,

we turn into careless crazies who always think they're right.

never feel the need to check themselves

and ask if what they're saying really needs to be said.

and that's the intricate,

detailed,

ridiculously elaborate part of it all.

that we have to make time,

to take time,

to make sure we're being uplifting.

it can take one silly comment

to ruin someone's life.

you're held accountable for that,

whether you want to believe it or not,

you are.

and it's sad and its hurtful,

but that thought always makes me want to be more thoughtful,

all the time.

"a gentle tongue is a tree of life,

but perverseness in it breaks the spirit"

Proverbs 15:4

the unassuming.

I try to imagine a world where I'm constantly

and only inspired by God.

It's difficult to even comprehend,

with so many pictures and quotes and all sorts of things

thrown my way each and every day,

Imagining a life where I didn't have all these interactions

(superficial or not), but was inspired daily by pure Truth.

It might not look as pretty,

or feel as special,

or be easily interpreted.

It might not be like a fire-cracker everyday,

it may take more time.

But when it does happen,

its more...real

more full

and more packed with meaning.

The unassuming isn't as easy to find.

It's hidden,

it requires digging,

time and effort.

In a world where time and effort are nonexistent,

the unassuming is even more rare,

more ready to be seen and hunted for.

If that means saying "no" to the silly babbles thrown my way, then I'll do it.

I'm done with inspiration for inspiration's sake,

for "finding things" just to make sure I'm in line with the rest,

that I know what's up.

It's meaningless and fruitless and only makes me more like everyone else than I was before.

So now the tough part is the fight,

the fight to not fall into easy, comforting categories

where I'm fed by pictures and sentences.

It's time to fall back in with the True Source of all that is creative and good and pure.

easy breakfast:

eggs, tomatoes, goat cheese & basil

fried in coconut oil

arranged as a sandwich (sloppy as it was)

& so good.

arise & go

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,

And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:

Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,

And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day

I hear the lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,

I hear it in the deep heart's core.

Yeats, The Lake Isle of Innisfree

simple life

knitting my aidez

eating granola for breakfast.

(in my new soft slippers)

my first typed letter :)

& a photo of me b/c i liked my hair that day...for good measure.

more days than less, i like simplicity.

it's easier that way i guess.

loving what you have & who you're with.

there's still room to dream & adventure & go go go,

but days just feel so nice when you're satisfied.

if only it were an easy feeling to call up.

it's one of those that when you don't have it,

it so hard to find.

but once you do have it, you almost feel complacent.

no matter,

i still love the feeling of peace.

perfect love.

lookie what i got

i've been looking for one for a while & came by a decently-priced one in a thrift store.

best. find.

now learning all the ins & outs of typewriters:

wonderful :)
gets good at 2:58.

where i want to head to next:

;)

scenes of a room

..with a view. :)

the best part of my room here is the windows.

i can't get enough of them,

their light,

and the view they give.

just lovely.

new music mix:

the deep blue sea. from suchasoul on 8tracks Radio.

relaxed.

my latest sweater.

it's soft & comfy.

relax by ririko

perfect person

I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most perfect person that I can think of; for to have been though about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing ever.

C.S. Lewis

what joy.

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cleaning.

time to clean out the ol' Bible.

yay treasures.